Never Say Never
by lalalei
Summary: Robbie Rotten can't believe it-after so many schemes ended in failure, he finally won by doing absolutely nothing! Now that LazyTown is officially The Laziest Town on Earth, all that's left is for Sportacus to leave town-but to the villain's surprise, the hero and the citizens may not be willing to give up so soon. AU for "The Laziest Town."


In all his years of lazing about, eating cake, manipulation and trickery, and generally being a nuisance to the inhabitants of LazyTown, Robbie Rotten was sure of two things.

The first was that he had _never_ seen LazyTown as active as it was today, not even when Sportakook had first come to town. In an attempt to stave off winning the coveted (to him, anyway) moniker of The Laziest Town on Earth, everyone was doing something active—save Robbie himself, of course. Even Bessie Busybody was up and about, answering phones at top speed despite his best efforts to stop her, and the children, Mayor Meanswell, and that insufferable Sportaflop were working out, moving, and jumping as much as they could.

It was _nauseating_, and on an ordinary day it'd make his stomach churn—except for the second thing Robbie had noticed. Well, more like two-and-a-half. The first was that time was almost up. There were only 3 seconds left to go and the meter was only at 90 percent, and while he was never good at math, Robbie knew that was a short timespan to get a lot done in.

The second thing, Robbie noted with glee, was that even Sportacus's tricks and athletics weren't quite enough to raise the Energy Meter to 100. In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, the sports elf was out of tricks entirely—and quickly running out of energy. Even as Stephanie cheered him on, believing he'd save them all by virtue of nothing more than _being Sportacus_, the town hero tired out and collapsed, exhausted, before their eyes.

As if on cue, everyone fell silent and stared. Robbie, who'd been standing as thin and still as a rail in a vaunted effort to not be active at all, was dumbfounded. Finally, he found his voice.

"I beat Sportacus?"

He blinked, unsure of what he was seeing. If his plan had _worked_, then they were officially the laziest town on the planet, and Sportacus would surely leave out of embarrassment! This was too good—no, too _bad_—to be true!

"I did it…? I _did it_!"

Robbie almost launched into a victory dance then and there—but stopped himself. Clearly there was some catch to it! What if it was all a _dream_? To check he pinched himself, yowling in pain, but everything stayed where it was. That meant this was no dream, and Mayor Meanswell's dismayed cry of "We're too late! It's five o' clock and we were only at 90 percent!" only cemented it.

Robbie Rotten, Villain Number One and self-proclaimed master of disguise, had _won_.

_Now_ he could afford to victory dance, and so he did! Robbie let loose with an energetic, upbeat dance reminiscent of marching in place, spinning around a few times and celebrating as loudly and obnoxiously as he could—for once he didn't care about noise; he'd earned it!

"I won! I won! I _won_! Hahahaha!"

After a self-congratulatory pat on the back for good measure, Robbie took it all in as if for the first time, relishing his victory—everyone's exhaustion, the despair on Stephanie and the mayor's faces, and most of all the look Sportacus gave everyone when he finally picked himself up.

Robbie wasn't sure what Sportakook was thinking, but he hoped it was something along the lines of packing his bags and leaving—preferably that instant. What athletic superhero would _dare_ show his face in LazyTown now that it was officially The Laziest Town, especially since he'd just failed in helping its citizens avoid that designation?

Stephanie ran over to Sportacus, helping steady him when he swayed on his feet. "Sportacus! Are you okay?"

The hero shook his head. "I'm fine, but…I'm sorry. I couldn't do it!"

Robbie took that as his cue. He strode over to the pair, refraining from laughing in their faces just long enough to sneer at them instead. "That's right, Sportafailure! For all your exercise and activity and flippity-flopping, you couldn't do it!"

Stephanie looked like she was about to say something, but Robbie's gloating interrupted her. "Too bad, super-zero—I've proven we're _all_ lazy in LazyTown! Hahahaha!"

As Robbie continued laughing, Stephanie pulled the hero into a hug. "It's okay, Sportacus. You've always said trying your best is what counts most, win or lose. And you never gave up!"

Sportacus nodded, a weary smile coming to his face. "That's right, Stephanie. I'll just have to do better next year!"

The smirk on the villain's face instantly vanished. "Next _year_," he shouted. "_What_ next year!? You're supposed to be gone! Leaving! Vamoosed! _Out_," Robbie cried, poking Sportacus on every syllable. The sports elf didn't budge.

"Why would you think that," Sportacus said. He sounded curious and not at all upset, if a bit annoyed at Robbie continually jabbing him.

The villain fumed. "Because you _lost_! It was all part of my plan—if we were officially named The Laziest Town, you'd be so embarrassed you'd pack up and go back to your island in the North Sea or wherever it is you heroes come from! You'd be out of my hair for good!"

Sportacus shook his head. "Robbie, failing just means I have to practice even harder to succeed. And who knows? I might fail again, or even the time after that."

"So you'd leave town _then_," Robbie supposed.

"Well, no! I'd just try again, and if it turned out I really couldn't do it…"

"You'd _leave_!"

Sportacus sighed and turned to face him. "No. I'd know I did all I could, but there's no way I would leave town just because it was officially declared the laziest. As long as LazyTown needs me, I'll stay."

This was not going as Robbie intended, and he growled in frustration. By this time the other children had run up to join Sportacus, as had the Mayor and Bessie, and he quickly saw an opportunity. "Ha! If you failed them once you can fail again! You really think these brats—" he whirled to gesture at the lot of them "—will look at you the same way now that I, Robbie Rotten, have proven myself superior?"

Sportacus seemed in thought for a long moment before approaching them. "I don't know, Robbie. Let's see what they think. How about you, Ziggy?"

"Do tell, Candy-Boy. How does it feel knowing your hero let you down," Robbie sneered.

To the villain's surprise, Ziggy looked hopeful, even happy. "I'm okay with it, because I've failed at things too! But Sportacus was always there to reassure me, and he always encouraged me to try again! Now it's my turn to be there for him. You can do it, Sportacus! Don't let failure slow you down!"

Sportacus smiled and turned to Pixel, who was watching them intently while fiddling with a handheld computer. "Pixel? What do you think?"

Robbie scoffed. "I'm sure Computer-Boy just calculated the _exact_ percentages of you failing again."

Pixel shook his head, looking optimistic. "Not quite, Robbie. According to my calculations, we only missed being at 100% activity by 10%. Assuming we all stay active and work hard, next year we should have even better physical performance—and I'm sure Sportacus would be happy to help us train!"

Robbie was frustrated, but his eyes lit up as he moved on to Stingy. "How about you, Fancy-Boy? Thanks to Sportaloser the only thing that's _yours_ today is knowing you're part of The Laziest Town on Earth!"

Stingy shrugged. "That may be so, but it doesn't mean we're the laziest town _forever_. Only for the year! And we _almost_ avoided it. I'm sure my father would be willing to rent out the finest sports equipment for next year, if I asked! Sportacus, you get first pick."

No longer smiling, Robbie whirled to face Trixie. "Loud-Girl, don't pretend you're not disappointed after all that running around came to nothing! If I were you I'd pout, go home and be as lazy as you want! Now that Sportaflop's failed you don't have to listen to him, or anyone!"

"In that case I don't have to listen to you, either! I might be sad Sportacus tired out," Trixie began. "But he did all he could, and we all had tons of fun moving around and being active! Next year I'm gonna try hard too, and I'll be sure not to eat too many sweets!"

"Are you sure," Robbie managed, sneering to retain a semblance of control as he turned to Stephanie. "How about you, Pink-Girl? The town you moved to is officially the laziest! How embarrassing will _that_ be back home?"

Stephanie looked thoughtful. "When I first got here, LazyTown was really lazy, and might have already been the Laziest Town! But this year things were different—we tried to avoid it, and even though we didn't succeed, I'm sure next year we'll take what we learned this time and keep at it! I better practice my dance steps!"

Robbie threw up his hands in frustration. He didn't understand! Why were those kids just shrugging Sportakook's defeat off!? Couldn't they see he'd _won_?

"And for the record, Mr. Rotten," Mayor Meanswell chimed in, "As Mayor of LazyTown I officially declare Sportacus can stay! Even heroes need a place where they're welcomed, and Sportacus did his best for all of us."

"And I'll make some sportscandy smoothies for you after all that hard work," Miss Busybody added. "I'll use only the freshest, most energizing ingredients, especially for you, Sportacus! Perhaps next year I won't need to be coaxed into exercise."

Sportacus smiled. "That's a great idea! We could all use some energy if we're going to raise that Energy Meter next time!"

Everyone cheered at the idea, and for Robbie Rotten that was the last straw. "Even when I _win_ it's like he wins! I'm going home," Robbie shouted, and stalked back to his lair. The kids watched him go with mixed amusement and trepidation.

"Do you think he'll be alright," Stephanie asked.

"He might be extra nasty next time," Trixie said thoughtfully. "We'll have to watch out!"

"Don't worry," Ziggy said happily. "With Sportacus's help I'm sure we'll find something to smile about, even if he wins like he did today!"

"Thank you," said Sportacus, turning to face them. "I won't give up if you won't—and I'll keep practicing with you! But we must always remember to have fun."

"I know something that's fun," Stephanie said. "The Bing Bang song! Let's all celebrate—even though we didn't win, we won't give up!"

As the strains of the happy melody reached Robbie's lair, despite his earplugs, the villain peered through his periscope and scowled. "Leave it to those brats to take _all_ the fun out of winning. It's hard being a villain these days," he growled.

He had half a mind to flop back into his chair and try for some sleep—but inspiration struck mid-thought.

"Wait," Robbie breathed, rubbing his hands together in glee. "Maybe those kids _were_ right about _one_ thing… not giving up! I won't give up, not until everyone's lazy again and Sportakook is gone for good! Yes, this is just a—a _setback_, not defeat! And I still _won_! Hahaha!"

He grinned and went to his workbench, devious plans and backup plans to those plans whirling about in his head.

"If I won once, why—I can win _again_! And next time there'll be no way Sportacus can get out of what I have planned! I'll kick him out of town and make _sure_ they're too lazy to inspire him or keep trying!"

Robbie mulled over what plan to work on first. A sugar apple? Another disguise? Maybe something unexpected? But he quickly decided, before anything else, to stride to his personal chalkboard and put a single, solitary notch in a Wins column. Then it was time for a nap.

As he settled into his chair to relax, with the Bing Bang song not annoying him nearly as much as it had before, Robbie grinned and knew he'd dream of future success, whether he'd achieve it once he woke or not.


End file.
